Blog post #3, here we are again back at my writing hoping its getting better as weeks go on. I still can't believe I have my own website and I'm writing for the world to see anyway, I had the pleasure of reading A Fable for the Living (Kevin Brockmeier) This story was completely amazing. I'm not gonna lie I actually choked up whiled reading this story. I felt like I was there with her while she was telling it that's how amazing and painful it was to read about. I didn't want the story to end. This story was about a widow woman who wrote a letter to her author-self about her loved one to try and find her self again.
Dear Cindy Lu, Where have you been? It seems like its been forever since we last talked. I'm sorry it took me so long to talk to you again. I was just in fear, afraid to look back in the past on what has occurred. I didn't think I could ever write again. Its been hard since giving up and letting it go, never pushing forward. Every since the death of George seems like everything changed I just drifted away its not you its me. I never thought I would be the same again, didn't think I could go on from something so tragic, watching it happen day after day, the struggle he went through. I couldn't do anything about it nothing at all I kept beating myself up inside . I tried talking to him, crying to him, but nothing worked, he just gave up I prayed everyday he would get better from this epidemic it just got worse. Do you ever think to you self for a second how hard writing is ? What to write about or where to even begin. I do all the time. It gets so frustrating just sitting there mind boggled not knowing what to write. You been at it for hours or even days and nothing just completely nothing. Its the worst feeling in the world, the anxiety , the stress, the gut wrenching feeling inside. I tried so many time to write you but I couldn't I just want to stay in my shell. Just wanted to go away wanted, never go outside or anywhere ever again. This is what I feel when I come to writing. Its like trying to turn the T.V. on with no remote. Complete silence. That's exactly how it feels. Did you ever wonder that? Its so hard, harder then you think, it just kept me so distant from you. It just seemed easier this way to separate. But its time I'm ready, ready to let go and start over again, letting go of the fears of what could have been, and just move on from the past. I can't change the fact that he is no longer here or the hurt I am feeling inside but I know he wouldn't want me to give up on my writing, because its what we used to do together all the time. But writing now I generally am feeling a slight closeness to you. I kept thinking to myself how am I going to go about this how will I succeed in my writing, I have giving up on it ill never be where I wanna be, since he passed away. Then I thought to myself this is it, my time is now and I need help , I need to find that person again. I need to let go and try and live life they way he would want me to its easier said than done. So here it is the steps I will take to prove to you that I'm never turning my back again. First I will always keeps up with my blog posts and any assignments giving. I will always make sure my work is completed on time even if it needs adjustments, time management is the key. Lastly I will always make sure to try and start my work on time and not wait until the last minute, sometimes this gets the best of me but I'm hoping you will help me out. This will give me advantages and will help me practice my unique writing skills. I promise this time around I will be better, I wont stress my self out, I will not give up. I will make sure that I take the time I need and put the effort into writing. I feel more confident now writing to you and expressing my feelings about my writing, I promise to never give up and I wont let you down. I will write more often and simply ask for your advice on things with my writing, please understand that it wasn't intentional I didn't mean to stay so distant. I just simply gave up for a while after George passed but I promise I am going to be back stronger then ever. I hope that one day you can forgive me and we can look past this. Sincerely, Meghan
3 Comments
Sabatino
2/5/2020 08:11:05 am
CIF
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Sabatino
2/7/2020 10:05:54 am
I first want to offer say I am sorry for your loss.
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Sabatino
2/7/2020 10:10:59 am
I commented via my cell phone -- and now see errors in text. Here is the edited version:
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Meghan EllisHello and welcome to my blog page this is where i will make meaning and explore the weakness and messy processes of writing. ArchivesCategories
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