If I -Welcome back to blog post #6. Here in the post we were asked to create a Counterfactual Memoir post to my previous assignment in blog post #5. This blog post will mostly remark on the "what if 's" of my previous post and what would have been different if these events didn't occur, an alternative ending . So below I have provide links that I read to help me recreate my post . Please feel free to read the post and links as well.
On that hot summer day back in July of 2017, I always wonder what would be different if he hadn't gone to pick up the herion that day. I replay this day in my head all the time 'What if" I went over there like I said I was going to , would he still be here today. I think about this day often, if my brother hadn't gone to pick up his drugs, he didn't leave my nephew alone for 2 hours what would be different today. I always ask myself these questions. Would he still be doing what he did? Would he be a different person. We he be the brother I know he would have been and the best damn dad to his boys. If I had pushed him to do better, would he still be here today. One thing I do see that would be different, is that I would have helped him to get better. I would have pushed him to become the person I know he could have been. We would be able to do what we always wanted to do with the our boys. Everything would be different , I always thought to myself if I pushed him to do better , or got him the help he needed then he would still be here today. I just re-think back to that day, if he hadn't overdosed, or what was going through his mind at the time. Why didn't he reach out, I know he thought the he had nobody on his side but I would have told him you have a little sister who cares about you dearly, who wants you to do good. What your doing is not only hurting us but your kids as well. I just wish he would of done differently but I can't be selfish about it. If he was here today I know everything would be completely different my mom wouldn't be the way she is. None of us would be hurting the way we are. I just wish he would of thought about what he was doing. If that day hadn't happened we still be going to Disney world this year with the boys like we planned. If that day was any different than what had happened. I would tell my brother I would be here for him no matter what, and that I love him, and I just wish he would of done better for himself and for his children. But no matter what outcome came out of that day , it's how you push forward , that's what really matter. I had to stop beating myself up of what had occurred, it wasn't my fault, I had to be strong and be brave for his boys as well as my own. Life is how you make the best of it, knowing the results are difficult , you learn to push forward and live with it because that's all you really can do.
6 Comments
Donovan Fountain
3/1/2020 06:56:38 am
I read your counterfactual and it was heartfelt, you can keep moving forward and your brother knows your love, keep striving great story!!
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meghan
3/2/2020 06:32:29 am
Thank you it means a lot!
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Sabatino
3/2/2020 10:04:15 am
CIF. I am heartened by Donovan's comments here. I echo his sentiments. Thank you for sharing.
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meghan
3/2/2020 11:09:52 am
Thank you so much!!
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Jillian Shepherd
3/3/2020 11:21:24 am
Your brother is always with you and knows how much you care about him. Thank you for opening up about something that most people don't like to talk about or open up about. Keep pushing forward and striving for greatness!
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Tanesha
3/3/2020 02:03:07 pm
It doesn't get any easier and I understand exactly where you're coming from. I can feel the pain in this post. Keep your head up!
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Meghan EllisHello and welcome to my blog page this is where i will make meaning and explore the weakness and messy processes of writing. ArchivesCategories
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